Guidance for Families

We are here to walk alongside you through the sacred transition of life. Our guidance is rooted in the compassion of Kobo Daishi, providing a warm and established spiritual home for families navigating the end of life, hospice care, and the final farewell.

Before a Death Occurs

If someone you love is elderly, seriously ill, receiving hospice care, or approaching the end of life, please contact Koboji before they pass away whenever possible.

Families sometimes hesitate to call the temple until after a death. We are always here to help then, but contacting us beforehand gives us an opportunity to support both the individual and the family and to make the decisions that follow less difficult.

Contact Koboji

Funerals & Memorials

We provide sacred Shingon Buddhist rites and ongoing memorial services for those who have passed. Our mission is to offer a warm, established spiritual home in Honolulu, dedicated to Kobo Daishi, for the peaceful transition of the soul and the comfort of the family.

When Someone Dies

If a death has occurred, please contact Koboji.

You do not need to know which Buddhist services your family needs before calling us. A minister will guide you through the next steps.

When contacting us, please provide whatever information you already know:

the name of the person who died
date of death
your name and telephone number
funeral home, if one has been selected

It is all right if some of these details have not yet been decided.

Funeral & Cremation

Buddhist customs surrounding death may include prayers before cremation, a funeral or memorial service, preparation of a kaimyo and ihai, and later memorial observances.

Not every family's circumstances are the same. We will explain what is customary in our tradition and help your family determine what is appropriate.

Before finalizing any funeral or cremation dates with a mortuary or funeral home, please contact Koboji to confirm the minister's availability. We encourage families to speak with us before making firm arrangements so that we can help coordinate the timing of the service.

Koboji can also communicate with your funeral home as arrangements are made.

After the Funeral

Buddhist care for the deceased does not end with the funeral.
Families may observe services throughout the year.

Memorial services are traditionally observed at particular anniversaries in later years. Anniversaries are calculated according to kazoedoshi, the traditional Japanese system of counting age.

49th Day Memorial

The 49th Day Memorial is a significant milestone in the transitional journey. It marks the conclusion of the initial mourning period.

100th Day Memorial

The 100th Day Memorial offers an opportunity for the family to gather again in remembrance and prayer as they continue their healing process.

Hatsubon

Hatsubon is the first Obon observed after a death. Special services are held to welcome back the spirit for the first time during the Obon season.

Annual Memorials

Memorial services are typically held on specific anniversaries including the 1st, 3rd, 7th, 13th, 17th, 23rd, 25th, 27th, 33rd, and 50th years.

Arranging a Memorial Service

Memorial services may be held at Koboji, at a family home, or at another appropriate location.

Please contact the temple to arrange the date and location.
There is no minimum number of people required for a private memorial service.

A service may be held with one family member, a small group of relatives, or even with the minister alone.

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What Should We Bring?

For many memorial services, families may be asked to bring:

ihai, if available
a photograph
fresh flowers
a small food offering or something the person enjoyed

Different observances have different preparations, so we will confirm what is needed when your service is arranged.

Family Away From Hawaiʻi

If family members live away from Hawaiʻi or are unable to attend in person, please ask us about the possibility of remote participation. Availability depends on the circumstances of the service.